Touched by grace

Sometimes, while I am at work, surrounded by the many life-changing results of various accidents, I think about how easily the situation could be reversed. Here I am, caring for the people who had something happen to them that was out of their control, whether it be a car accident, a fall, a stroke, a worn-down knee, or something completely random like a tire blowing up in their face, and I know I could easily, and just as suddenly, be the one that is being cared for and not doing the caring. When I think about this, it doesn't depress me, but makes me realize that the only reason I am in the position I am in is because of God's grace. Nothing else. A lot of the time, I feel sad inside for the patients and their families, but I know that God has placed me here, in each of their lives, for a reason...that He has put me on this "side of the fence" for a purpose, even though I do not always see it at the present time.

How amazing is it that He uses us, His very creations, to touch others and to bring them closer to Him? I cannot even fathom this...All I know is that He doesn't need us, but He uses us because He loves us so deeply. The work He does through me touches me, and I think He wants that for me, and for each of us! I think He allows "us" to touch others, ultimately to touch us, as well. Oh, what love...

The grace that our Father has on us is absolutely mind-blowing, but then the questions comes: "why are these people here, and I am not?" "Why do You have grace on me and not on them?" "Why is this little boy's life changed forever, due to his injuries, while his peers move along, normally?" The questions spin in my head, at times, and that is where the fight is...

I don't understand many things about God. I don't understand His healing, or His reasons for allowing certain things to happen to some and not to others, or even His unconditional love. The only way I can work in the nursing field and not become bitter towards Him is by knowing and believing that everything He allows and does is because He loves us. I believe that He allows the people to be here, patients and employees alike, because He knows it is for their good in some way. I simply cannot believe that He would let something tragic happen to His own child if there was no hope of them growing through it, and closer to Him. However, I am not God, and I was not designed to know or understand these things! All I know is that he loves each of us; therefore He does nothing to harm or hurt us...right? Sometimes I wonder what is fact and what is learned/inherited opinion. Especially when it comes to Jesus. So much of what Christianity is about is based off of opinions and beliefs of our churches and families, and a lot of it isn't even written in the Bible. I hope to seek out the truth, all of my days, and never believe anything false about our Heavenly Father.