Now, I see the light

"A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24

Why is it that some of us seem to think people should always be nice to us, but we rarely consider how we are treating them? I, unfortunately, fall into this category. I am the first to victimize myself, and point out others for "treating me wrong," but, when I look back on the situations, I realize that I could have acted differently, as well.

You see, I have these standards...these expectations on people that are just...unfair. I expect to be treated a certain way; everyone being aware of me and my feelings, showing me love when I need it, space when I don't, and being more trustworthy than my own self. Ha. Writing it out sounds ohhh so much sillier than in my mind! Isn't it always that way, though? The enemy loves when we hold these feelings in, because we convince ourselves that they are logical and true...but once they are spoken out in any way, they come to the light. What beauty. "He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts." 1 Corinthians 4:5.

These false expectations have lead me to look to people for my happiness, joy, and love, when I should be looking to my Father in Heaven. I end up in the same spot, every time I begin relying on man and not Jesus. I end up feeling disappointed...sad...unwanted...unloved. You get the idea. All of these emotions I have are only there, I believe, because God is trying to show me that I will feel empty and unsatisfied without Him as my center. He is trying to show me that man will never fully satisfy those deep longings He has put inside me that only He can fill...no matter how wonderful the people are. He is the one that is supposed to be my best friend...the friend that is closer to me, and to my heart, than a sister or brother. How amazing is that? That He created us to long for Him in ways we cannot even understand, as humans?

Lord, I want to thank You for the feeling of emptiness, at times, because it always brings me back to You. It always makes me realize that I need You more than anything or anyone on this Earth. Help me to have more grace on people. Help me to be friendly to others, in the way I want others to be friendly to me. Help me see with new eyes, feel with a new heart, think with a new mind, and pray & worship with a new soul. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Do not cast Your Spirit away from me. Work inside me and through me, Jesus, all the days of my life. I love you sooo much.